Day 34: Thinking About My Purpose (or, Uh-Oh, Gotta Go!)
Chapter 34 encourages us to think like a servant, and let’s look at the last point:
“Servants think of ministry as an opportunity, not an obligation.”
Personally, I’m glad to think of ministry as an obligation – a joyful obligation. But we might be in trouble if we consider it a grievous burden to be avoided at all cost. And we fall into that attitude more easily if we are so heavily scheduled that there is no room for opportunities to serve.
Yesterday I gave you the first four parts of Dr. Richard A. Swenson’s prescription for “Restoring Time Margin,” in other words, restoring breathing room to our schedules. They were:
Rx 1. Expect the unexpected (add some time to your scheduled activities)
Rx 2. Learn to say no (if there are 100 good things and you can only do 10, you will have to say no 90 times)
Rx 3. Turn off the television (and many people would gain more than 30 hours a week)
Rx 4. Prune the activity branches (cut out commimtments that have proliferated and self-perpetuated)
Last night as I was about to turn on the TV (why would I want to watch only the last half of a crime drama anyway?), I decided to clean up the kitchen so Michael wouldn’t have to do it when he got home from Bible study. I hate dishes, so I tried to think about the fact that I was serving Michael, and that helped. A little.
OK, here are more prescriptions for restoring time margin, from Swenson’s book Margin.
Rx 5. Practice Simplicity and Contentment
“We consume significant quantities of time in the buying and then maintaining of things. With fewer possessions, we do not have as many things to take care of. Recognize unnecessary possessions for what they are: stealers of divine time.”
I have taught a class on “Uncluttering Your Life” (and sometimes even practice the principles that I’ve researched and preached!) And one of my favorite principles is this: Let’s say you have a possession you don’t like -- it doesn’t do what you want it to, and it’s taking up space. You really shouldn’t have bought it. Well, don’t keep something just because you bought it. Admit you made a mistake and get rid of the evidence!
Rx 6. Separate time from technology.
“Technology is responsible for a great deal of our time famine. Go on strike occasionally. Disconnect from clocks, watches, alarms, beepers, telephones and faxes for a day, a weekend, or a week.”
Let’s add to that e-mail and web surfing. How much time do you spend on line?
Rx 7. Short term flurry vs. long term vision
“Americans are notoriously shortsighted. We must have a vision that extends beyond tomorrow. Living only from week to week is like a dot-to-dot-life.”
Rx 8. Thank God you can't do it all
“If you have two meetings scheduled on the same evening, you obviously can attend only one. Don’t overlook the possibility that this might be God’s way of being kind to you.”
Some pastors in small churches go to everything. If the doors of the church are open, he usually opened them, he set up the chairs, started the coffee and runs the projector. There is not a meeting that he doesn’t attend (usually leading), not a social function that he doesn’t grace with a prayer. People become accustomed to his presence and are concerned if he is not there. Meetings cannot be scheduled concurrently lest he not be able to give his full attention, advice and leadership to each group. (I freely use the pronoun “he” because I don’t know any women pastors who do this.)
This approach is more rare today than it used to be, and it generally applies to very small churches. In a larger church (50 to 75 members or more), or a church that desires to grow, that kind of pastoral involvement is impossible and ill-advised.
Presbyterian churches are designed for growth. The pastor needs to attend certain meetings: Congregational meetings, Session meetings, Personnel Committee and Nominating Committee. But the rest of the groups, committees, commissions, teams and task forces are empowered to seek the Lord and carry out their ministry fairly independently, under the supervision of the Session (board of elders). We are a priesthood of all believers. We are empowered by the Holy Spirit for ministry.
Thank God I can’t put my children to bed and go to the (name your committee) meeting. If you are being asked to do two things at once, like work in the nursery and sing in the choir, there’s a pretty good chance that God is calling you to only one of them. But if you’re not doing anything, you may not have heard the call. Listen to what God is telling you.
Note: Rachel just asked what I was doing. I started to tell her that I’m writing to everyone to help them find more time to spend with their children… Uh-oh. Gotta go!
POINT TO PONDER: To be a servant I must think like a servant.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:
Am I a slave to my possessions? Is the clutter in my house, my car, my office taking up all my time and energy?
Am I overcommitted in some area of my life?
Am I neglecting one area of my life (marriage, children, grandchildren) because I’m spending too much time in another area (television, shopping, activities)?
Am I too involved at the church? Or not involved enough?
Day 33 “How Real Servants Act” (or, How to Put Some Breathing Room Back in Your Schedule)
I’m going to challenge you on the first characteristic of a servant: “Be available.” And since many of you will say, “I’m too busy,” I’ll give you a break. Instead of preaching/harping on “come on, be a servant” I’m going to give you some tools that have helped me to open up my schedule to make room for service.
In his book Margin, Richard A. Swenson, M.D., cautions against having overloaded lives. Margin, he says, is the space that once existed between ourselves and our limits, It’s something held in reserve for contingenies or unanticipated situations. He details the problems of a society in which people are expected to fill up every moment, to fill up the margins of life, and then he gives recommendations in the areas of physical energy, emotional energy, time and finances.
He compares “overload” to “margin” as follows:
Overload is not having time to finish the book you’re reading on stress.
Margin is having time to read it twice.
Overload is fatigue.
Margin is energy.
Overload is red ink.
Margin is black ink.
Overload is hurry.
Margin is calm.
Overload is anxiety.
Margin is security.
Overload is the disease of the 90’s.
Margin is the cure.
As I glance through this book (I read it about 10 years ago), I realize I need to read it again. Here’s part of what he says about restoring margins in the area of time and restoring sanity to our schedules.
Rx to Restore Time Margin
“Rx 1: Expect the unexpected. Nearly everything takes longer than anticipated. If you want some breathing room, increase your margin of error. For example, if you are chronically late, try adding an extra 20 percent time margin to your scheduled activities.”
(I knew a bishop who always arrived at restaurant meetings early and brought a novel to read. No matter how early I arrived, he would be there first. I learned to respect it. It was his breathing room.)
"Rx 2: Learn to say no. If there are 100 good things to do and you can do only ten of them, you will have to say no 90 times."
(Wow, that gets to me. I will try not to feel guilty next time I have to say no to something like being on the advisory board of the Cancer Society or Snow Cap.)
"Rx 3: Turn off the television. For the average adult, this would gain more than 30 hours a week."
(Really??? I have a hard time believing that people watch that much TV, although I do remember hearing a couple of women at the beauty parlor this time last year being very upset that their shows were ending for the summer. “What are we going to do?” they lamented. “It will just be reruns. How will we make it until the fall?” I swear they were absolutely serious.)
"Rx 4: Prune the activity branches. Activities multiply. They often have a way of self-perpetuating even when we are no longer particularly interested in them. It is much harder to stop something than it is to start it. Peridically, it is important to get the clippers and prune away."
Let's look at this one for a moment. Just because you did it for the last 3 years doesn't mean you need to keep doing it. Re-evaluate why you're involved.
Did you know this goes for church programs, too? Even great programs go away if they are not advancing the cause of Christ or if people are no longer interested in leading, helping or supporting them. And that's not a bad thing, even though it's hard to let go of cherished memories or traditions.
What church events or programs have you supported in the past that you are no longer interested in doing? Is it OK if it goes away? Why or why not?
Tell me what you think. These are the first four of 16 ideas to reclaim your time margin – I’ll give you more tomorrow.
One of the things I like the best in these 40 days is the idea of “SHAPE,” as Warren says, “the custom combination of capabilities.” Because as the Veggie Tales say, “God made you special, and he loves you very much.”
But have you ever felt Not Special, like you should be something other than what you are? All of us have faced the pressure to be something we’re not.
We “older moms” are bedazzled by the gorgeous celebrity moms who seem to live lives of perfection and fulfillment with flat bellies and perfect hair and international careers and tucking in their adoring children every night. We Christians are painfully aware of our shortcomings and sin. We voters wish we knew more about the candidates and issues. We church leaders are confronted daily with a variety of challenges that require a diversity of skills.
Do you ever feel that being who you are is not good enough? Or can we focus on the strengths that we do have?
Our friend Van is always quoting Peter Drucker: “Make strength productive.” You don’t build an effective organization, or a meaningful ministry, on weakness. And to try to build against weakness frustrates our purpose.
For the individual, I see it this way: you can spend a lot of time and energy trying to make up for your deficiencies and never make any progress on the things you are really good at and called to do.
God has given different gifts to different people in the body of Christ, the church. Preachers, teachers, pray-ers, helpers, givers, discerners, encouragers, mercy-givers – Read the list in 1 Corinthians 12 and Romans 12 and try to see yourself in one or more of these roles.
For me, I know I’m never going to have all the skills and qualities I would like to have. But I know God has called me to live a rich life and make a contribution. So I’ll try to focus on the gifts, talents and interests God has given me, and make the most of them!
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:
What are some things you’re NOT good at (even though you think you need to be) and that you DON’T care about (even though you think you should)?
To what extent can you let go of those “shoulds”?
What are your spiritual gifts? If you don’t know, how are you going to discover them?
Day 29: Accepting Your Assignment (or, There Are No Little People)
Hi, I’m back. Did you think I was out of town? Or deathly ill? Maybe I’ll just let you think that. But I’m still with you on the reading and the Sunday sermons. Here we go…
1 Timothy 1:9 … God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life--not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.
Matthew 20:28 “…whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave-- just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
In the priesthood of all believers, every Christian is a servant and every Christian is a minister. We are all called to ministry, to serve God by serving one another. From the bagpiper on Sunday morning to the little girls who straighten the pew cards on Monday, every person is important in the life and work of the church.
Wherever we are, we serve God by serving others. Helping Rachel practice the piano. Giving Laurel a cup of juice. Remembering to give Michael a phone message. Honoring the ministry areas where God has placed us: marriage, family, church, work.
Did you know that your every act of service matters? Here are a couple of quotes from theologian Francis Schaeffer, in his book No Little People:
“The Scripture emphasizes that much can come from little if the little is truly consecrated to God. There are no little people and no big people in the true spiritual sense, but only consecrated and unconsecrated people. The problem for each of us is applying this truth to ourselves: is Francis Schaeffer the Francis Schaeffer of God?”
“We must remember throughout our lives that in God’s sight there are no little people and no little places. Only one thing is important: to be consecrated persons in God’s place for us, at each moment.”
POINT TO PONDER: We are created to do good works (Ephesians 2:10)
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:
What act of service did I do yesterday?
Did I realize that I was ministering to God even as I was ministering to that person?
How might what I’m doing today make a difference in the world?
Day 21: Protecting Your Church
(or, “Knock It Off; You Know Better”)
Presbyterians consider unity extremely important, since Jesus made it a big part of his teaching. He gave them the image of himself as the vine, and us as the branches. The picture of the vine runs all the way through the stained glass windows in our sanctuary. We must remain connected to the Lord and bear fruit. We are one vine. Jesus told us to love one another, and it is because of this love that everyone will know that we are his disciples.
Every minister, elder and deacon takes a series of ordination vows, one of which is “to maintain the peace, unity and purity of the church.” Sometimes those three don’t go together. When we come to serious issues, there are questions: to resolve this, are we going to have to sacrifice peace or purity? We stick together and keep working on it.
My experience from 21 years of ministry is that the majority of conflicts in the church are not over theological essentials. They are over style, hurt feelings, unmet expectations and misunderstandings.
Do you think the unity of our church needs defending and protecting? Absolutely. Don’t wait for conflict to rip it apart. Be part of strengthening the love and honor in the church.
Criticism breaks down the church. Some Christians have a natural tendency to criticize and have to work hard to overcome it. Criticism wears down people in ministry. I’ve seen people resign from positions, paid or not, because they were constantly criticized and made to feel they couldn’t do anything right. Sometimes they say “that’s the last straw” and quit, but sometimes they just wither away until you can’t see any life there anymore.
If you’re a critical person, think before you speak, and remember that it takes about ten affirmations to balance one criticism.
One more thing. Don’t gossip, and don’t even listen to gossip. Gossip is telling negative things about other people for the purpose of tearing them down or supposedly making the gossiper feel important. Gossip is often cloaked in such sheep’s clothing as, “Let me tell you this bad thing the pastor did, and tell me I’m not crazy.” Or, “We really need to pray for this deacon because she did this bad thing.” Or, “I’m just letting you know why I’m not in the (whatever group) any more.” If the person is not working with the object of their gossip towards reconciliation, refuse to listen to it. Say, “That’s not for me to hear. Why don’t I go with you to the person in question and we’ll work it out?”
POINT TO PONDER: We must defend and protect the unity of the church.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
1. How have I unwittingly contributed to the breaking of another person’s spirit?
2. How have I neglected to protect the unity of the church?
3. What can I do on Sunday morning to build someone up?
4. How can I change the way I do ministry to work for unity?
“Blest be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love
The fellowship of kindred minds is like to that above.”
Day 18 Experiencing Life Together
(or, Why She Murdered Her Husband)
Warren writes, “In real fellowship, we experience authenticity.” Can we really be authentic in the church?
This made me think of the woman in southeast Gresham who killed her husband because she thought her church would accept her better as a widow than a divorcee. I wanted to share it with you but I was fuzzy on the details, so I called Sharon Nesbit from the Gresham Outlook and asked her to help me remember the story. I hope we’ve got it right. According to Sharon, the woman’s name was Carolyn and she was a kindergarten teacher at a Christian school on Palmblad Rd. as well as a Sunday School teacher. Her husband was a coach and a likeable guy. She lured him down to the basement with the promise of sex. Her boyfriend was waiting down there and beat him to death.
When it finally came out that Carolyn planned the murder (and Sharon had a sense from the start that the wife did it), she was asked why she didn’t just divorce him and leave the marriage. This is the part I remember most about the incident. She said something about that in her church divorce was frowned upon, and she would suffer everyone’s disapproval, but if her husband died tragically, they would surround her with love and sympathy. Unbelievable, but that’s the way a sociopath thinks.
Aside from the fundamental horror of it, there’s something else about it that scares me: It’s not too far from the truth about churches.
We are pretty good at caring for people when they share their polite, acceptable troubles. But how does a church treat someone who is about to make a devastating choice?
I hear that some churches run people out of the church when an “unacceptable” sin is discovered. I read recently some reflections by a woman who says she was brought before the (all male) church board, accused of sin and was interrogated with hurtful, personal questions, then was dropped from the membership of the church without ever having the chance to explain her side of the story.
I don’t know of anyone who has ever been “excommunicated” or run out of Smith Memorial Church when a problem or a sin is revealed. And I hope there’s no one at our church who would leave the church rather than tell us what’s wrong and let us help. It’s in those times that you need your church family the most.
Just as we pray and support people in the many needs that are shared in church, we must be just as loving, just as gracious with the “unacceptable” troubles: the messy problems, the bad choices, the mixed motives, the sins in which people are trapped.
Friends, we all have sin in our lives. In fact, as elder Joe Lagerstrom put it, “We all have sin. I have sin. That’s why I’m here. If I didn’t have sin, I wouldn’t need Jesus.”
POINT TO PONDER
1 John 1:8-9 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER
1. Will you accept someone who has an unpleasant problem? Someone who is struggling with something you will never understand?
2. Is there a problem in your life that you don’t want anyone in church to know? If it comes out, will your church still love you? Will you stay and let people help you?
Day 14: When God Seems Distant (or, the Terrible, Awful Baptism)
Read chapter 14 in Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life.
I was baptized when I was a college student. Not because I came to faith at that time, but because someone at Glendale Presbyterian Church noticed that, while I was at the church five days a week doing choir and college leadership team, I wasn’t actually a member of the church. For the membership roll, they asked me the date of my baptism; turns out I hadn’t been baptized.
So my baptism was scheduled for a Sunday after church, the same day as the 8th grade confirmation class.
I was pretty excited about this. If I had been doing the Lord’s work before this time, just imagine how great my life and ministry would be like after my baptism!! I was going to be cleansed of my sins, adopted into God’s family, and the gifts of the Holy Spirit would be conferred upon me. Plus, I was going to be immersed (yes, Glendale Presbyterian has a secret pool under the stones of the patio) which would make it the experience of a lifetime.
I spent weeks preparing spiritually for the event. I made a catalogue of all my sins and confessed them to a couple of friends in the college group who probably couldn’t have cared less, and I thought about how, in a moment, heaven and earth and my soul would be changed.
The day came. I think it was Jack Chisholm who baptized me. I went into the water, I came out of the water. That was it. No bells, no choirs, no angels, no dove, no “this is my beloved daughter…” Nothing happened.
I had thought that baptism by immersion was going to be a great experience. Everybody said it was. I even knew people, having been baptized as infants, who wanted that experience so badly that they had managed to get re-baptized (bad theology, but sometimes they tricked the pastor into thinking they hadn’t been baptized) so that they could have the wonderful feeling of adult baptism by immersion.
But I didn’t feel anything. Someone took a picture of us after we had been baptized – I looked stone cold. I dried off, returned the white robe and went home. That was it.
Did God adopt me into the family of God? Yes. Have the gifts of the Holy Spirit been unleashed in my life? Yes. Was I empowered for ministry? Yes. Did I feel anything at my baptism? Nope.
You can’t use feelings to validate your faith. Years ago I saw an illustration of a train – engine, freight car and caboose. The engine is Fact. The car is Faith. The caboose is Feeling. Feeling doesn’t drive the train – the fact of the resurrection and the truth of God’s Word are the engine. Feeling is along for the ride. It’s part of it, but not the engine.
Check out this song – “Nothing” from “A Chorus Line.” It’s sung by an acting student. Much better to watch someone sing it, but maybe this will remind you of a performance you’ve seen.
[DIANA]
I’m so excited because I’m gonna go
to the High School of Performing Arts!
I mean’ I was dying to be a serious actress.
Anyway’ it’s the first day acting class’
and we’re in the auditorium and the teacher’
Mr. Karp... Oh’ Mr. Karp...
Anyway’ he puts us up on the stage with
our legs around each other’
one in back of the other and he says:
"Okay... we’re going to do improvisations.
Now’ you’re on a bobsled. It’s snowing out.
And it’s cold...Okay...GO!"
Ev’ry day for a week we would try to
Feel the motion’ feel the motion
Down the hill.
Ev’ry day for a week we would try to
Hear the wind rush’ hear the wind rush’
Feel the chill.
And I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
To see what I had inside.
Yes’ I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
And I tried’ I tried.
[Spoken]
And everybody’s goin’ "Whooooosh’ whooooosh ...
I feel the snow... I feel the cold... I feel the air."
And Mr. Karp turns to me and he says’
"Okay’ Morales. What did you feel""
[sings]
And I said..."Nothing’
I’m feeling nothing’"
And he says "Nothing
Could get a girl transferred."
They all felt something’
But I felt nothing
Except the feeling
That this bullshit was absurd!
[Spoken]
But I said to myself’ "Hey’ it’s only the first week.
Maybe it’s genetic.
They don’t have bobsleds in San Juan!"
[sings]
Second week’ more advanced’ and we had to
Be a table’ be a sportscar...
Ice’cream cone.
Mister Karp’ he would say’"Very good’
except Morales. Try’ Morales’
All alone."
And I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
To see how an ice cream felt.
Yes’ I dug right down to the bottom of my soul
And I tried to melt.
The kids yelled’ "Nothing!"
They called me "Nothing"
And Karp allowed it’
Which really makes me burn.
The were so helpful.
They called me "Hopeless"’
Until I really didn’t know
Where else to turn.
[Spoken]
And Karp kept saying’
"Morales’ I think you should transfer to Girl’s High’
You’ll never be an actress’ Never!" Jesus Christ!
Went to church’ praying’ "Santa Maria’
Send me guidance’ send me guidance’"
On my knees.
Went to church’ praying’ "Santa Maria’
Help me feel it’ help me feel it.
Pretty please!"
And a voice from down at the bottom of my soul
Came up to the top of my head.
And the voice from down at the bottom of my soul’
Here is what it said:
"This man is nothing!
This course is nothing!
If you want something’
Go find another class.
And when you find one
You’ll be an actress."
And I assure you that’s what
Fin’lly came to pass.
Six months later I heard that Karp had died.
And I dug right down to the bottom of my soul...
And cried.
’Cause I felt... (smiling) nothing.
POINT TO PONDER
God is there even when you don’t feel God.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
1. First of all, are you even close enough to God to note God’s absence?
2. When things seem dark, when faith seems dead, what brings you through?
3. Do you consider yourself a “feeling” person? If not, (and that’s ok), what can you learn from this chapter?
